I Really do Have the Worst Luck
by TheSnitchOfLiars
Summary: Harry's Uncle gets arrested for a child mistreatment and the funny thing is that Harry gets arrested for being his accomplice when Harry has no idea who everyone thinks is hurt. This leads to a series of events that send Harry's out of control.
1. Discoveries of the worst kind

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All Harry Potter characters, stories, plot lines belong to J.**_**  
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15 year old Harry Potter had been at the Burrow for 3 weeks now and it was almost time to go back to Hogwarts for his fifth year

"HARRY, RON, HERMIONE! DINNER TIME! " Mrs Weasley called.

Everyone rushed downstairs to get the food before Ron got there and ate it all. Everyone dug in and ate every last scrap of the food on the table. After dinner Harry, Ron and Hermione went into the kitchen afterwards to help clean up the dishes. They stopped at the door and listened as they heard a _very _agitated Mrs Weasley arguing with her husband.

"But Arthur, Harry must know."

"Yes he does, but not right now he doesn't."

"Of course he does Arthur it does after all concern him!"

"No Molly. I will not tell him this soon."

"We have to tell him Arthur!"

"Tell me what?" Harry asked as he entered the kitchen with Ron and Hermione.

When he got no answer Harry asked again. "I said, tell me what Mrs Weasley?"

Mrs Weasley gave Mr Weasley a look that said 'tell him or else'.

"We have bad news Harry" Mr Weasley said with a grave expression. "Your uncle has been arrested."

Harry gave a laugh. "No seriously, what's the bad news?"

"That was the bad news Harry dear" Mrs Weasley said wearing the same expression as her husband. "Your aunt has been arrested as well and your cousin is currently a ward of the ministry.

"What! Why?" Harry exclaimed.

"For the mistreatment of a child." Mrs Weasley said with disgust as any self respecting person would at the thought of hurting a child.

Harry paled. "Y..y..you know?" Harry stuttered.

"Yes of course we know" Mr Weasley said questionably. " How do you know Harry?"

"I was involved but don't you already know that."

"We do now thanks to your little confession." Mrs Weasley said coldly.

"We are taking you to the ministry right away you little monster." Mr Weasley said with disgust.

"You can join your aunt and uncle in Azkaban until your trial."

Harry paled even more. "What? Why? What did I do?"

"You helped your aunt and uncle you FREAK!" Hemione Screamed.

"No. No, I didn't! I didn't do anything wrong!" Harry protested.

"Oh, save it for court you monstrous creature." Ron said in a voice that Harry had never heard before. It was a voice that was cold and filled with hate. Harry didn't put up a fight on the way to the ministry of magic. The reason for this was that Harry Potter was in complete and total shock.

When they got to the Ministry the aurors were called to come and get Harry and take him to a holding cell. The holding cell had just one door and was like a cake at the zoo except a lot smaller. The cell was guarded by a single dementor that the ministry had picked out especially. The dementor that they had picked out was a mild one because it was just a holding cell but it was still extremely frightening. Harry didn't scream out as he relived his worst memories but you could still see the horror on his face.

The next morning Harry was taken to the Wizengamot for his trial. His Aunt and Uncle were there as well. Dudley was no where to be found. The trial was due to start in 5 minutes and everybody was there.


	2. The Trial

**Disclaimer: I do not** **own Harry Potter. All Content belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

**A/N Sorry about last update. I forgot to upload my next document. Thanks for reviewing and letting me know.**

**Thanks Airforce1990 for favourite-ing me. Thanksto everyone who put me on story alert.**

People seated in the courtroom were giving Harry and his relatives disgusted looks. Harry wasn't looking for these strangers but they were hard to miss. Harry was looking for the Weasley's to see if they believed him yet. They didn't. They, and Hermione, were the loudest of everyone when screaming insults to Harry.

"Order, Order." Amelia Bones said.

Everyone had stopped talking immediately as soon as the judge said those words.

"We are here to witness the trial of Vernon and Petunia Dursley and their nephew Harry Potter." Amelia Bones said addressing the audience. "They have been charged with the mistreatment of a child."

There were boos from the audience as Judge Bones read out the charges.

"They will now be questioned under veritaserum." An auror brought in the veritaserum and administered three drops to every one of the accused. "Auror Shacklebolt if you please."

"Name?" Auror Shacklebolt questioned.

"Vernon Daniel Dursley." "Petunia Lola Dursley."

"Did you mistreat a child in your care?"

"Yes" "Yes."

And the questions continued on like this for the rest of the questioning. Next it was Harry's turn to be questioned.

"Name?"

"Harry James Potter"

"Were you involved in the mistreatment of a child?"

"Yes."

Angry yells came from the audience members.

"How were you involved?"

"I am the child they mistreated."

There were gasps and murmurs as Harry was still being asked questions.

"How did your uncle treat you?"

"Like a freak. He told me that I was a freak often."

"And your Aunt?"

"The same."

"He's LYING!" Ron screamed. "If Harry had been treated like that he would have told me. Right Harry?"

"No Ron, I wouldn't have told you or anyone else because I didn't want to worry you. You wouldn't have believed me either."

Ron just stayed silent.

"What did your relatives do to you?" Auror Shacklebolt continued.

"My uncle hurt me badly every summer and before I went to Hogwarts to 'stamp out the magic'. I slept in the cupboard under the stairs before Hagrid came and got me. Magic scared them for a while and they gave me Dudley's second bedroom. After I got a letter from the ministry in second year, my uncle saw that I wasn't aloud to do magic outside of school and he made me live in the cupboard under the stairs again. I never got to own my own clothes, apart from my Hogwarts uniform, only Dudley's hand me downs that are about 5 times to big for me. Aunt Petunia made me do all the cooking and cleaning unless we were going to have company over. If I talked or she didn't think I was working fast enough, she would hit me over the head with a frying pan. Dudley and his gang liked to play 'Harry Hunting'. They would chase me and beat me up when they caught me. I was starved all the time. They said I had to 'earn my food' by doing all the household chores. They said that because I didn't do a good enough job and because I was a freak, I didn't deserve much food. I was only given enough to survive on."

"What about another relative or guardian? Why didn't you ask to stay with them?"

"My godfather, Sirius Black, had been wrongly sent to Azkaban without a trial."

"I will have to question you about Sirius Black at a later date because you seem to know too much about him."

Madam Bones was sitting quietly and thinking about the Dursley's and how severe their punishment was going to be.

"Order in the court!" Judge Bones said. "I find Harry Potter not guilty. I also find Vernon and Petunia Dursley guilty of the mistreatment of a child. We have been mistaken about who the child was. We assumed it was Dudley Dursley when it was his cousin Harry Potter. Vernon and Petunia Dursley are here-by sentenced to thirty years in Azkaban before they receive the dementors kiss. I here-by sentence Dudley Dursley to 10 years in a juvenile detention centre for helping his parents. When Dudley Dursley has finished his sentence he will be re-evaluated to see if he still deserves the dementors kiss. Harry Potter shall receive all of the Dursley's assets as a consolation for what his relatives did. Case dismissed."

Everyone scrambled for the doors. Harry started to look for the Weasleys. When he caught up to them they all started to talk and yell at him.

"We are so sorry Harry." All the Weasleys said in unison.

"Apology accepted" Harry said. "You didn't know. You know … the Dursleys going to Azkaban and juvenile detention centres is the best news I have ever heard."

"I'm going to go tell Sirius about the trial. I have to tell him to turn himself in." Harry said.

"No!" Hermione said "I won't let you be your usual selfish self and give Sirius to the dementors!"

"Hermione, for your information I just said that Sirius was innocent and never received a trial under veritaserum. He will get a trial and he can prove his innocence. He can be free." Harry said angrily forgetting about the 'usual selfish self' comment. "Come on, let's floo there now."

Harry stepped into the fireplace near the ministry's front entrance and shouted "12 Grimmauld Place!"

**A/N. So what do you think?**

**Sirius: I don't like it.**

**Me: Why not?**

**Sirius: I'm an escaped convict.**

**Me: I can change that if you want me to in the next chapter or two.**

**Sirius: Okay but what are those people staring at.**

**Me: You.**

**Sirius: Why me?**

**Me: Because you're supposed to say the speech I prepared for you earlier.**

**Sirius: The one about t…**

**Me: Yes that one. Get on with it.**

**Sirius: Okay, Okay. Calm down. Please review and put TheSnitchOfLiars on author alert because she has told me that she has millions of stories she wants to tell you. Good enough?**

**Me: Just fine but it needs to be a bit more exciting next time.**

**Sirius: Okaaay. See you all in the next chapter. Bye.**


	3. Grimmauld Place

_**A/N Thanks to everyone who reviewed or put me or my story on alert. I run on your comments.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter. Everything belongs to J..**_

**Sirius: Oh look, it's chapter three. **

**Me: So it is.**

**Sirius: What do you think it's about?**

**Me: You.**

**Sirius: Me? It's my chapter. I finally get my own chapter. This is where I finally get a trial isn't it?**

**Me: Yep. Now Shut up and read!**

**Sirius: Fine. No need to be so pushy.**

**Me: I thought I said Shut up! (glares at Sirius)**

**Sirius: (Looks frightened and shuts up.)**

Chapter 3

Harry flooed to Sirius's house and looked around. One by one the Weasleys and Hermione came out of the fireplace.

"Sirius!" Harry called.

"Who is it?" Sirius called from upstairs.

"It's Harry!"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! YOU NASTY,HIDEOUS, FOUL CREATURE!" Sirius came downstairs and yelled.

"W..w..why Sirius?" Harry stuttered.

"I heard all about how you were taken to the ministry for helping the Dursleys with the mistreatment of a child!"

"You d…d..didn't listen to my trial?"

"Why should I have. We all know you wouldn't have been clear…" Sirius stopped mid-sentence as he realised something. "You were cleared weren't you?" Sirius said in a calm, quiet voice.

"Y..y..yes Sirius." Harry said. He was now deathly pale and shaking.

"Why?" Sirius asked.

"I wasn't guilty." Harry said calming down once he realised Sirius wasn't going to yell anymore.

"HOW CAN YOU NOT BE GUILTY AFTER YOU ADMIT TO BEING GUILTY!" Sirius yelled flaring up again.

"I never admitted to being guilty."

"Oh yes you did. You said that you were involved."

"I didn't mean that I helped them." Harry said quietly looking down at his feet.

"Then what did you mean?"

"Look at my memories. You can see the trial."

Sirius extracted the memory he wanted out of Harry's head and put it into a bowl as he didn't have a penseive. He watched the memories and his look got more and more horrified as he watched more and more of the trial.

"I'm so sorry Harry."

"Apology accepted. You couldn't have known."

"I still should haven't yelled at you like that."

"No you shouldn't have but why don't we stop talking about that. I have some good news for you."

"What is it?" Sirius asked eagerly.

"I let it slip that you were my godfather, you never got a trial and that you were innocent in the trial. Now Madame Bones wants to give you a chance to prove your innocence!"

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"I suppose I have to turn myself in now, don't I?"

"The sooner, the better. You get your freedom and I get to live with you. It's a win/win kind of thing."

"Wow! I'm going to the ministry right now. I'll see you at the trial tomorrow." And with that Sirius apparated with a loud bang to the ministry.

"This is great guys! Sirius is going to be free!"

"It's great dear!" Mrs Weasley said. "Now you get to live in a real home!"

"I'm so excited. We have to go to the trial tomorrow!"

"Of course we'll go to the trial. We wouldn't miss it for anything." Mr Weasley said.

Hermione was just standing there saying nothing at all.

"Mrs Weasley?"

"Yes Harry dear."

"Do you think there is a possibility that Sirius won't get to go free."

"Only if they don't use veritaserum."

"They didn't even give him a trial last time. Don't you think that they might just decide to give him the kiss right away?"

"You're right. We must go to the ministry and tell them to give him a trial immediately."

"Yes, of course."

Harry stepped into the fire place and called out "The Ministry of Magic!"

Everything swirled around him and he saw room after room until he finally saw one that led to the ministry of magic. The swirling stopped and Harry stepped out of the grate slightly dizzy. The Weasleys and a very angry looking Hermione stepped out of the grate moments later.

"Right. Now that everyone's here, let's go find Madame Bones's office." Harry said in a matter-of-factly voice.

Everyone rushed around trying to find the right door when finally Harry came across the right one.

"Over here everyone!" he called out. "I found her office. 'Madame Amelia Bones, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Judge of the Wizengamot.' It's right over here, near courtroom three."

Everyone cheered and whooped with glee. Harry knocked on the door waiting for an answer.

"Come in!" a voice called.

Harry, the Weasleys and Hermione entered Madame Bones's office and found her at her desk having a pleasant conversation with the escaped convict, Sirius Black.

"Madame Bones, please do not give Sirius the kiss. He is innocent, we swear." Harry said in a rush.

"Don't worry Harry. I have no intention of sentencing Mr Black to the dementors kiss without giving him a chance to prove his innocence first." Madame Bones said cheerfully. "I plan on doing a private questioning right here with all of you as witnesses."

"Okay. Let's begin then."

"Of course."

"I suppose you should give me veritaserum so that no one can accuse me of lying." Sirius said.

"Auror! Please administer the veritserum." Madame Bones said.

The Auror administered 3 drops and the questioning began.

Just like the Dursleys trial, Sirius was questioned for what seemed forever. Finally after 3 hours and 27 minutes of questioning, Madame Bones had her verdict.

"Sirius Black, I hereby pronounce that you are a free man and get a consolation for all the years you wrongly spent in prison. Your consolation is 3 million galleons. I also hereby give you custody of one, Harry James Potter."

Harry and the Weasleys cheered and engulfed Sirius in a group hug. Hermione stood by watching her face unreadable.

"Just in time for your birthday to, eh Harry." Sirius said.

"I'm going to have the best birthday ever!" Harry said excitedly.

He certainly was going to have an exciting birthday for sure. But would it be happy? Only time would tell 14 hours to be exact.

**A/N So What do you think? Thanks for reading!**

**Me: Sirius your lines.**

**Sirius: What lines?**

**Me: Don't act dumb. You know what lines.**

**Sirius: Oh! Those lines.**

**Me: Yes, those lines!**

**Sirius: When should I say them.**

**Me: Hmm… I don't know…What about now!**

**Sirius: (Looking scared) Okay. Thanks everyone for reading. Please put this author on story alert and author alert. Please review and please do it quick before this girl murders me. Her stare is really creeping me out.**

**Me: Hmm…fine. I'll let you live…for now. Mwa ha ha ha ha.**

**Sirius: SAVE ME!**


	4. Not so Happy Birthday

**A/N Disclaimer: I own nothing. All Harry Potter belongs to J..**

**Me: Hiya Sirius!**

**Sirius: Hi. What chapter is this?**

**Me: Chapter 4. Why?**

**Sirius: Is this the chapter where we finally figure out why Hermione has been acting so weird?**

**Me: Yes.**

**Sirius: Finally!**

**Me: Remember your lines at the end or I'll bring in someone else. (gives death glare)**

**Sirius: Okay. Don't kill me!**

**Me: We'll see.**

Chapter 4

Everyone woke up bright and early the next morning. It was July 31st.

"Everyone come on. Shhhhh" Ginny said as everyone crept into Harry's bedroom.

Everyone gathered around his bed and started singing "Happy Birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Harry. Happy birthday to you." Everyone except Hermione was singing. She had a look on her face that was cold and hard.

"Thanks guys." Harry said as he woke up.

Harry and the Weasleys went downstairs for breakfast and to open presents. Harry ate his breakfast of pancakes and syrup and then went to open his presents when everyone started to ask him to do it.

Harry opened his presents and thanked each person in turn. After a while everyone went outside either to play or watch a quidditch game. That was when Hermione finally joined them.

"Sorry everyone. I was just reading Hogwarts a History." Hermione said.

"That's fine Hermione." Harry said "Come and join us. We could use another chaser. We also need a scorer. Could you please do one of those things?"

"No. I don't want to play or score. Why is everyone so happy? Why are they treating you special? It's not like it's exactly an important day."

"It's my Sixteenth birthday Hermione. This is also the first birthday I haven't had with the Dursleys. Of course I'm going to be happy."

"Like I said. It's not a very important day."

Mrs Weasley had a very suspicious look on her face. It was crossed between hatred and worry. "Of course it is an important day dear." She said awkwardly "Say happy birthday to Harry."

"No! I'm sick of pretending to be his friend for a few measly galleons."

"What are you talking about dear?" Mrs Weasley said, still smiling but through gritted teeth.

"I'm talking about the money Dumbledore owes me. The money he has been taking from Harry's vault. It's not worth it to pretend to be Harry's friend just so Dumbledore can know what Harry is up to!" Hermione said angrily.

"Dear please stop before you say something you regret." Mrs Weasley said sweetly. "You don't know what you're saying."

"I know exactly what I'm saying Mrs Weasley! I'm sick of having to put up with your selfishness Harry! I hate how you always pretend to be abused and beaten! You wear baggy, grey clothes when you have enough money to buy thousands of pairs of clothes!" Hermione yelled.

"Hermione, the money in my vault is only enough to get me through school and a little bit for some pocket money for sweets. I can't afford new clothes." Harry said upset that his friend of five years thought he was selfish and a liar.

"Liar." Hermione spat. "You're a cheater to. You beat me at transfiguration and DADA in our O.W.L's. That isn't possible unless you cheated! You got an exceeds expectations on potions. You're terrible at potions. You cheated on your exam. You're a liar and a cheater!"

At this point tears were falling down Harry's face. He just couldn't believe that his best friend thought he was a liar and a cheater, He couldn't believe that his female best friend was never really his best friend.

"I've never cheated Hermione. I..I..I never w..w..would. You s. know that." Harry said sadly.

"No Harry! I don't know. I am always right and right now I know that you are a liar and a cheater! You don't care about anyone but yourself! You are practically a squib. If Ron and I hadn't come with you on your little adventures you would have died before you could say squib!"

"I would've died Hermione, not because I can't handle myself but because I wouldn't have been careful because I would have known that no one cared about me." By now Harry was sobbing uncontrollably. Sirius stepped in and decided to have a few words with Hermione.

"HOW DARE YOU TREAT MY GODSON LIKE THAT. HE IS IN NO WAY SELFISH. HE IS THE MOST SELFLESS PERSON I KNOW." Sirius yelled.

"He is selfish and if you can't see it then you are just as selfish as he is!"

"I..I..I trusted y..y..you Hermione. Why d..d...don't you t..t..trust me." Harry stuttered.

"I don't trust you because you're a stupid idiot who can't handle himself!"

"Hermione dear, you don't mean it." Mrs Weasley said. She still had that strange suspicious look on her space. "Sirius, stop yelling at Hermione."

"I mean everything I say Mrs Weasley and you can't tell me what I think! You are not my mother!" Hermione screeched.

"I will not stop yelling at Hermione Molly. My godson has just been through a terrible ordeal and she is making it worse!" Sirius stated.

"YOU WILL STOP YELLING IN MY HOUSE IMMEDIATLEY!" Mrs Weasley yelled.

"NO MOLLY! AND THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE! IT IS MY HOUSE AND I WILL DO WHATEVER I WANT!" Sirius yelled before turning back to Hermione.

"You know what Harry. I wouldn't have to put up with you if you were dead. Would I?" Hermione said in a sickly sweet voice unlike the yelling she had been doing before.

"No Hermione. But I don't plan on dying anytime soon." Harry said bravely. Harry had finally gotten a grip on what was going on and decided to stand up for himself. He was no longer going to let anyone walk over him like Vernon did.

"No. But you didn't plan on this either. AVADA KEDEVRA!" Hermione yelled and a jet of green like shot towards Harry. The curse hit him square in the chest and sent him flying backwards.

"NO!" Sirius screamed. "NO! Not Harry! Please don't let Harry be dead.

Sirius walked up to Harry and saw that Harry was not dead. Harry was writhing in pain as though he had been hit by the Cruciatus curse. After a minute or so Harry stopped writhing and stood up.

"Hermione, I'm going to have to punish you. Petrificus Totalus!" Harry said.

The curse sent Hermione crashing to the floor unable to move.

"Harry James Potter! You unfreeze Hermione right now!" Mrs Weasley yelled.

"No. Did you not just see what Hermione did? She tried to kill me. If she can move then she will try and probably succeed in killing me. I am taking her to the Ministry of Magic. Judge Bones can arrange a trial and we can find out why she did it. She will be sent to Azkaban." Harry said calmly.

"She didn't mean to cast the killing curse on you. She was just angry! That is no reason to freeze her." Mrs Weasley said.

"That is plenty of reason Mrs Weasley and if you don't shut up I will have you arrested too for making excuses for a criminal." Harry told Mrs Weasley.

"Portus" Harry said casting the portkey spell on a water goblet. "

Grab hold everyone!"

Everyone grabbed hold and were transported to the Ministry of Magic.

**A/N What do you think? **

**Me: Hey Sirius!**

**Sirius: Yeah?**

**Me: You didn't remember did you?**

**Sirius: Of course I remembered. I don't want to die.**

**Me: Well?**

**Sirius: Well what?**

**Me: GET ON WITH IT!**

**Sirius: (Shrinks away) Okay.**

**Me: Hurry up:**

**Sirius: Of course. Thanks for reading everyone. Please review and put the author on author/story alert as that is the only thing keeping me on her good side at the moment. **

**Me: You're safe for a few more chapters.**

**Sirius: (looks frightened)**


	5. Dumbledore Should be Named Dumbledork

**A/N I hope you like my story so far. Thanks to everyone who reviewed or put me on story/author alert. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All Harry Potter related stuff belongs to J..**

**Sirius: Do I say my lines now?**

**Me: No!**

**Sirius: What's the chapter about?**

**Me: How Dumbledork fits into this whole mess.**

**Sirius: OOOhh. Why did you call him Dumbledork/**

**Me: Because he deserves it.**

**Sirius: Why does he deserve it?**

**Me: Enough with the questions! Read the story and find out.**

**Sirius: Okay, okay. No need to yell.**

Chapter 5

When Harry and the Weasleys got to the ministry aurors came over immediately requesting an answer to why a young girl was immobilised.

"If you must know, this is Hermione Granger and she tried to kill me. She hit me with the killing curse." Harry answered.

"And you lived?" An auror asked surprised.

"Yes. I survived. Now can you please arrest this _thing._"

"Of course Mr Potter." Another auror said levitating Hermione out of the room and to a holding cell. "You may go now. You will be sent an owl when a trial date is secured."

"Thank you sir." Harry said.

Harry went back to Grimmauld place to enjoy the rest of his birthday. Harry was in the middle of a chess game with Ron (Which he was losing at miserably) when there was a knock at the door. Mrs Black's portrait started screaming at Ginny as she went to open the door.

"MUDBLOODS, FILTH, BLOOD TRAITORS ARE NOT FIT TO LIVE IN THE NOBLE HOUSE OF BLACK! SCU-"

"SHUT UP YOU OLD HAG!" Ginny screamed. Mrs Black promptly stop screaming and yelling, clearly shocked that someone had decided to yell back at her.

Ginny answered the door and saw Dumbledore standing there in cherry coloured robes.

"Hello Ms Weasley. How are you today?" Dumbledore said cheerfully.

"Good, thank you Professor." Ginny replied.

"Please may I speak with Harry." Dumbledore asked.

"Of course sir. Right this way." Ginny said leading Dumbledore to the living room.

"Good afternoon Professor." Harry said addressing Dumbledore.

"Good afternoon to you to Harry my boy. Happy birthday to you."

"Thank you sir."

"That is quite all right. I have come to speak to you about Hermione."

"Oh, her." Harry said his cheery mood disappearing.

"Yes my boy. I must ask that you drop all charges immediately." Dumbledore said gravely. His voice sounding like he was giving an order rather than a request.

"I'm afraid I can't do that sir." Harry said. His anger was flaring up again.

"Why ever not my boy."

"She tried to kill me. That is not something I take lightly sir."

"She did not mean anything by it Harry."

"She meant everything by it _sir_. She hit me with that curse. It should have killed me but no. I'm the Boy-Who-Just-Wouldn't-Bloody-Die!"

"I still insist that you drop all charges immediately."

"Not bloody likely after what she did to me! I am taking her to court to get her tried for attempted murder and there is nothing you can do to change my mind."

"You must drop all charges at once."

"NO!"

"You must. It is for the greater good."

"I won't and letting a murderer wander free is in no way for the greater good of anyone!"

"You leave me no choice Harry my boy. I will be telling the ministry the where-abouts of a certain escaped convict."

"What convict might that be professor? I haven't heard of any escaped convicts being about lately."

"Don't joke around Harry. You know exactly who I am talking about."

"No Professor. I don't believe I do. Care to enlighten me?" Harry said icily.

"I'm talking about Sirius my boy."

"Why Sirius?" Harry said angrily. Dumbledore was getting on his nerves. How dare threaten to turn Sirius in if he didn't do as he asked.

"Because the ministry desperately wants to catch him and give him the dementors kiss Harry. If you do not drop all the charges against Hermione then I will turn Sirius in to the ministry."

"You wouldn't?" Harry growled.

"I would my boy. That is why it is important for you to drop all charges immediately."

"I don't think I will Dumbledork."

"I warned you my Mr Potter, now you will face the consequences." Dumbledore said gravely.

"Go ahead! See if I care!" Harry yelled as Dumbledore disapparated.

"Harry! You need to treat Professor Dumbledore with respect!" Mrs Weasley scolded.

"I don't want to at the moment. He threatened to turn in Sirius." Harry said exasperated.

"No dear." Mrs Weasley said soothingly. "Professor Dumbledore wouldn't do that."

"He would. And he did. He said he would do it if I didn't drop all the charges against Hermione."

"He might have been a little bit over zealous but he meant well. You should drop the charges against Hermione. She didn't mean to cast that curse. She must of mis-said another spell she was going to use."

"She meant it Mrs Weasley and I will not I repeat, will not drop charges!"

"Please dear?"

"NO!" Harry said before storming off.

Harry went into the kitchen to tell Sirius what had just happened.

"Hello Harry. Enjoying your birthday?" Sirius asked smiling.

"I was until Dumbledore showed up." Harry said angrily.

"What happened?"

"He came here and started to demand that I drop all charges against Hermione"

"But she tried to kill you!" Sirius exclaimed.

"I know when I told him that he said that she didn't mean to and started to demand I drop charges again."

"You didn't, did you?"

"No, I didn't and when I told him that I wouldn't do it he started to threaten me."

"He didn't?"

"He did. He said that he would turn you in if I didn't drop charges."

Sirius laughed at this. "He is right idiot isn't he?" Sirius said still laughing.

"He is" Harry said laughing as well. "I told him to go ahead and that was when he apparated to the ministry."

"He is going to get a right ol' shock when he gets there. Imagine what he will say when he finds out I've been cleared and he wasn't informed. He can't have me arrested because I used veritaserum so if he says I'm lying they will know just how stupid that old coot is!"

"Yep. I wonder if he is there already. Imagine the look on his face." Harry said rolling around on the floor holding his ribs which were aching from so much laughing.

**A/N What did you think?**

**Me: What did you think Sirius?**

**Sirius: Dumbledore's name should be permanently changed to Dumbledork or Dumbles.**

**Me: I'll take that into consideration but what did you think of the chapter?**

**Sirius: I think Dumbledore should be handed over to the dementors for threatening me and my godson.**

**Me: I'll think about it. I have something else in mind for him.**

**Sirius: What?**

**Me: (Whispers something in Sirius' ear)**

**Sirius: (Evil grin spreads on face) Perfect!**

**Me: No that Dumbledork is sorted, how about saying your lines Sirius.**

**Sirius: Thanks for reading all you lovely readers out there. Please review and put the oh so evil author on story/author alert. Be sure to check out her other story and vote on the poll she set up.**

**Me: Thank you Sirius!**

**Sirius: At your service m' lady. **


	6. Gringotts and Unfortunate Events

**A/N Here is Chapter 6. Hope you like it.**

**Me: Sirius you have to shut up until the end of the story or else! (Gives evil glare)**

**Sirius: (Looks scared) Okay.**

Chapter 6

Dumbledore was heading towards the office of Cornelius Fudge so that he could betray Sirius.

Cornelius Fudge walked out of his office and came face to face with Dumbledore.

"Dumbledore! What are you doing here?"

"Minister, I have reason to believe that an escaped convict is hiding at number 12 Grimmauld Place."

"Then we must get there immediately. Aurors! Go to number 12 Grimmauld Place." Fudge ordered.

The aurors hurried to Grimmauld Place immediately and waited for Dumbledore.

"You may enter." Dumbledore said.

The aurors entered and started to search the building. Sirius heard the commotion and came out of the kitchen to see what was going on.

"Fudge! What is the meaning of this?" Sirius asked Minister Fudge angrily.

"The Headmaster said that there was an escaped convict hiding here. I brought the aurors over so that they could arrest him." Fudge explained.

Dumbledore walked into the room that Sirius and Fudge were in and looked at Sirius.

"There he is Minister" he said pointing at Sirius. "Arrest him!"

"What are you talking about Headmaster Dumbledore? Sirius and I are the only ones in this room."

"Sirius is the escaped convict Minister Fudge!"

Sirius smirked as Harry walked into the room.

"Harry, my boy. Sirius is being arrested." Dumbledore said pretending to look grim. _Why hasn't Sirius been arrested yet? _Dumbledore thought. _Surely he should have been arrested already._

"Professor, don't tell me you haven't heard the good news? Sirius has been cleared of all charges!" Harry said grinning.

"No, my boy. I can't say I have. Well I suppose you must call of the aurors Minister. I was mistaken. I thought that Mr Black was a convict. It hadn't occurred to me that he had been cleared." Dumbledore said. _How dare Potter and Black destroy my plans. THEY WILL PAY!_

That night at dinner Mrs Weasley was going on about the children's school supplies and how they would have to be purchased soon or there would be no decent looking supplies left.

"We really must get those supplies soon." Mrs Weasley said.

"Of course Molly. We can get them tomorrow. Harry and I were going to go get his supplies tomorrow anyway." Sirius said trying to calm Mrs Weasley down.

"You were? That is extremely dangerous of you Sirius. You are still on the run, remember?" Molly screeched sounding uncannily like Aunt Petunia.

"No I'm not Molly. I was cleared, remember? You should know. You were there." Sirius said amazed at Mrs Weasley's stupidity.

"Oh, yes. Sorry dear." Mrs Weasley said blushing.

"That is quite alright. We shall go get the school supplies tomorrow then?"

"Yes,yes. Of course."

"I will ask Bill and Charlie to come with us. I'm sure they would love to spend some time with the family." Mr Weasley said.

Everyone awoke bright and early the next morning to head to Diagon Ally.

When they got there they headed strait to Gingotts to withdraw money for their school supplies.

"Hello, how may I help you?" A rather grubby looking goblin said.

"We'd like to withdraw some money please." Mr Weasley said.

"Follow me." The goblin said walking into a room off to the side.

The room was quite large and looked as if it had stood there for many hundreds of years. The goblin they were folloing led them to a large desk and left without a word.

"Name please?" The receptionist goblin said.

"Arthur Weasley."

"Sirius Black."

"Harry Potter."

"Weasleys to the right and Mr Black and Mr Potter to the right." The goblin instructed.

Each person headed of to their designated destinations and waited for their guide.

"Hello Mr Potter, Mr Black." A familiar looking goblin said.

Harry could swear that he had met his goblin before. The goblin saw the puzzling look on Harry's face and smirked.

"Thinking, Mr Potter?" He asked.

That's when it struck him. "Yes Griphook. I was just trying to remember where I had seen you before."

"I took you to your vault in your first year Mr Potter."

"Yes you did, didn't you. That was amazing."

"Shall we take a look at the vaults now?" Griphook asked.

"Of course. Forgive me for wasting you're valuable time." Harry apologized.

"Quite alright Mr Potter. We have a few matters to discuss before you make your withdrawal."

"What must we discuss?" Harry asked. "And please call me Harry."

"Well, Harry, this must be discussed in private. If you and your godfather would please follow me." Griphook said leading Harry and Sirius to a large room.

"I have brought you here to discuss your status as and underage wizard. It appears that because you were acknowledged as an adult by both the Minister of Magic himself and Chief of the Wizengamot, Albus Dumbledore, you have become emancipated. You are now legally recognised an adult in the wizarding world." Griphook explained.

"That is very suprising Griphook." Harry said looking dumbstruck. "Please continue."

"You now have all the rights of an adult wizard. You are eligible for an apparition license and can now use magic outside of school." Griphook finished.

"If you don't mind me asking." Sirius said. "How exactly was Harry recognised as an adult?"

"Mr P- Harry was forced into a legally binding wizarding contract at the Triwizard Tournament. This contract was meant for adult wizards and as Albus Dumbledore forced Harry to abide by this contract he was recognising Harry as an adult. Minister Fudge put Harry on trial in front of the entire Wizengamot for the use of underage magic. The Wizengamot is only allowed to be called in for the trials of adult wizards thus meaning that Minister Fudge recognised Harry as an adult." Griphook told Sirius.

"That does make sense and it tells you something, don't it? It tells you that the modern wizarding community is employing careless idiots. It worked to our advantage this time but if it was someone else we wouldn't be so lucky. Harry is responsible. A few others are too but most of Hogwarts would be using magic carelessly and showing off." Sirius said understanding exactly what had happened.

"To make this official, Mr Potter, all you have to do is sign these documents." Griphook said addressing Harry.

Harry signed the documents and felt a huge rush of magic.

Griphook had a grim look on his face.

"It appears we have encountered a problem Harry."

"What problem Griphook." Harry asked.

"You have blocks on you that are blocking 99% of your magic."

"99%! It's a wonder I passed the 5 years I have been at Hogwarts." Harry exclaimed.

"Who placed the blocks?" Sirius asked.

"Albus Dumbledore" Griphook said.

**A/N Cliffhanger! Read the next chapter to find out. I hope to post it tomorrow so keep on checking my story.**

**Sirius: Please review and place the scary, evil author on author and story alert. Check out her other stories.**

**Me: You finally remembered your lines. Well done!**

**Sirius: Thanks.**

**Me: You want to know something interesting?**

**Sirius: Sure.**

**Me: I read a book the other day and one of the characters was called Friday.**

**Sirius: Weird. Imagine sitting in the lounge room or something and someone asks what the day is. Someone else says it's Friday and you look up thinking someone called your name.**

**Me: I know. It would be so annoying.**

**Sirius: Yeah. **

**Me: Enough of this. Let's go and write the next chapter.**


	7. Gringotts and Old Coots

**A/N: Sorry about the wait but with Easter and school, I have been quite busy. I have put the other stories on hold for the moment and will just continue with this one for the time being.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All Harry Potter related material belongs to J..**

**Sirius: You are a bad author! You abandoned your fans.**

**Me: I am not a bad author. I have been very busy.**

**Sirius: Oh.**

**Me: Yes, Oh. Now, haven't you forgotten something?**

**Sirius: No. I didn't forget I was just having a general conversation with you.**

**Me: Then hurry up and say what you need to say.**

**Sirius: Um….. Please remember that Aunt Amanda's Apple Pie is the only pie for you!**

**Me: Seriously. That is all you can come up with. And you call yourself a Marauder. Hmph.**

**Sirius: Hey!**

**Me: Here is how a real prankster makes a joke. Here's to all you lovely Death Eaters out there. If you charming Death Eaters are watching please remember to head over to Madam Malkin's for your lovely, new, clean robes. They come in the colours as follows: Yolky Yellow, Aunt Petunia Pink, Barbie Blue and Gamer's Green. Don't wait for the end of the day, head over right now and get those dusty dust bins off so that you can wear a brand spanking new garbage bag robe. Limited stock only.**

**Sirius: (Rolling on the floor in laughter) I see what you mean. That was HILARIOUS. **

**Me: Good for you, now say your lines or else.**

**Sirius: (Gulps) Okay. Please R&R or read and review for those of you who don't know what it means. Please read the other stories by our… scary and somewhat evil author.**

**Me: Good but next time give me a better intro.**

**Sirius: Yes your highness.**

**Me: Now go feed the ticking crocodile. I hear he likes pirates so you better not have forgotten them when you went shopping yesterday.**

**Chapter 7**

"Albus Dumbledore" Griphook said.

"What!" Sirius yelled.

"I knew Old Dumbles had sunk low but I didn't think he would sink that low." Harry said slowly.

"I can remove it but I would like to check you for other spells first." Griphook told Harry.

"Of course. What ever you say." Harry replied.

Griphook waved his hand over Harry's body and checked the parchment for signs of any other spells. When he was done he looked at Harry weirdly.

"What?" Harry asked.

"You have a magical block placed on your brain as well." Griphook explained.

"That dirty, lying…" Sirius said.

"Sirius! Please continue Griphook.

"The block was indeed placed by Albus Dumbledore. 86% of your learning capabilities have been blocked." Griphook continued.

"Wow. It is once again a wonder I passed the last five years of Hogwarts."

"Albus Dumbledore is definitely going to Azkaban when I am through with him."

"I can send a formal letter to the DMLE and to Dumbledore immediately if you wish?" Griphook suggested.

"That would be great. Please don't give Dumbledork too much info okay?" Harry said happily.

"As you wish Mr Po- Harry." Griphook replied.

"Is there anything else I should know?" Harry asked.

"Yes. In the past 6 years there has been numerous amounts of activity from both your trust vault and your main vault. It appears that the main vault is down to just 3 billion galleons. Its original total was 867 trillion galleons, 19 000 sickles and 143 knuts. Your trust vault has been emptied down to just 6 000 galleons from its original 800 000 galleons." Griphook said.

Harry just stood there in shock. Sirius' mouth was opening and closing like a goldfish.

"Can you tell me who has made theses extractions?" Harry asked after he had regained control of his speech.

"Yes, as the owner of the vaults it is your right to know who has been taking money from your vaults. The extractions have been made by one Albus Dumbledore. He has transferred 6 billion galleons the vault of Mr and Mrs Weasley. The remaining money has been transferred to the Dumbledore vault."

Harry was furious. How dare that meddling old coot steal his money and how could the Weasleys, who had been so kind to him, steal from him as well.

"Please send letters to each of these people immediately and tell them to pay back every last knut that they have stolen from me, with interest."

"Of course Harry." Griphook said as he motioned for a goblin to come over. He told the goblin what to do and sent him on his way.

"Thank you Griphook."

"You are welcome Harry."

* * *

><p>Dumbledore was sitting his office when an official looking owl flew in the window.<p>

Dumbledore grabbed it and read the letter.

_**To Mr Albus Dumbledore,**_

_**We at Gringotts would must inform you the owner of vaults 234 and 789 would like to have the money you have withdrawn from their accounts returned with interest because of the fact that they have proven the claim that you failed to inform them of any such withdrawals. **_

_**Please do buissness with us once again,**_

_**Gringotts Bank**_

When Dumbledore had finished reading the letter he as seething. Howcould the boy do this to him. He had to get him under his control again. He just had to. That boy would suffer the consequences.

**A/N: Ooooh. Cliff Hanger. Sorry for the short length of this chapter. I couldn't think of anything else for this chapter. I do however have many ideas for the next chapter. **

**Sirius: I have got a new set of lines.**

**Me: What are they?**

**Sirius: I'll tell you. (Brings in intercom and speaks into microphone) Could Albus Dumbledore please head to the front office. He has been selected for the Meddling Old Coots club. If he could please come to the front office to collect his timetable it would be much appreciated.**

**(Dumbledore turns red and looks angry at staff table)**

**Me: Ooooh, you made him mad. You are finally acting like a true Marauder.**

**Sirius: Thank you, thank you very much.**

**Me: Time for lines.**

**Sirius: Right you are. I'll begin. Could all of you please review our very scary and evil author's stories. Be sure to read them too. Please check out her profile and please use constructive critism.**

**Me: Good but there is more.**

**Sirius: Oops. Please send in your ideas for the punishment of Albus Dumbledore. Should he have his beard burnt and his eyebrows dyed pink or should he go to Azkaban for life. We have no idea so please send in any ideas you might have.**

**Me: You finally got it right. **

**Sirius: I know. I Siriusly did.**


	8. Dumbles is at it Again

**A/N: Here it is, chapter number 8. This is going to be a good one. Wonder what old Dumbles comes up with next?**

**Me: Hello Sirius.**

**Sirius: Hello Me. I really have a good plan for old Dumbles but I need a few more chapters to think about it.**

**Me: That can be arranged. **

**Sirius: It should be ready by chapter 10.**

**Me: Okay. Let's get on with the chapter.**

**Sirius: Right you are.**

Chapter 8

Dumbledore was pacing around his office wondering what to do about the growing problem of Harry Potter.

_That boy is a real problem to all my plans. He must be brought back into my control or else things could end very badly for me. _Dumbledore thought.

Dumbledore continued to pace around the room. What was Dumbledore to do now that Harry had found out he had been stealing from his vaults? The Weasleys couldn't bail him out of this one because he was certain that Harry had found out about their betrayal as well. Dumbledore decided to send a letter to Harry and try to con him out of pressing charges against him. The letter went like this;

_Harry, _

_I must request that you do not press charges against me. Pressing charges is not the way to solving your problems. Please reconsider your actions and do the right thing by letting your petty jealousy go in favour of the greater good. I must also request that you do not leave the house again without permission. It is very dangerous out there with all the Death Eaters running about. Thank you for your cooperation my boy._

_Sincerely,_

_Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts._

Dumbledore received a reply 3 days later with a letter from Harry that went like this;

_Albus Dumbldore,_

_I do not agree to your terms and will only hold off pressing charges until I have sufficient proof against you. _

_Thank You,_

_Harry Potter._

This letter was followed by another letter except this one was cursed and from one Sirius Black. Dumbledore was not a happy chappy. He was furious. This boy was ruining all of his plans and, because of Sirius Black, he had to go around everywhere in pink robes for 24 hours. Damn that boy and his nuisance godfather. Dumbledore needed a plan of attack and he thought he had the perfect one.

* * *

><p>There was a knock on the door of Grimmauld place. Harry went to the door and opened it. Outside stood Dumbledore.<p>

"May I come in Harry my boy?" Dumbldore asked stepping inside the house and walking into the living room.

"What do want?" Harry asked coldly.

"I wish to tell you that this year at Hogwarts a new Gryffindor seeker has been found and you have been taken off the team. You have proven a disregard for the rules so it is my duty as headmaster to take you off the team before you cause any more problems. I have also come to inform you that as of this year all fifth year students are required to take a test to prove they are worthy of continuing into the next year. Your timetable will be sent to you shortly. As a final request I must once again ask you to drop all charges against Hermione. She meant no harm."

"Hermione meant to kill me Dumbledore and if you can't see that then you are just as delusional as the minister says you are. As for this test of yours, bring on everything you've got. I'm ready. Now that everything is cleared up I am telling you to leave now!" Harry stated clearly.

"Now don't make any hasty decisions Harry-" Dumbldore started before he was cut off by Harry.

"Leave now."

"Very well. I shall see you at Hogwarts on September first." Dumbledore said before apparating out of the house and back to Hogwarts.

**A/N: Short I know but I have an idea currently stuck in the thought process so I should have a good chapter ten soon. Thank you.**

**Me: Sirius is taking a bit of shore leave to rest and get the bones in his limbs grown back so I will be doing this chapter's end thing. Thanks for reading. Put me on author alert. Put this story on story alert and favourites and please feel free to send me any chapters that you might have written for this story. I might give you some tips on tweeking the chapters slightly and then you can have your chapter published in this story. You will get all the credit for writing your chapter of course and we will have started a new type of fanfiction writing. Thanks once again and enjoy!**


	9. It's Payback Time

**A/N: Hi everyone! I am so sorry for not posting. I just got into playing video games which is so weird because I used to HATE video games. They are strangely addicting. Well thanks to Bluedrayseverus I am back to posting. Another reason I didn't post is because I accidently activated the paragraph symbol on word and it annoyed me so much I didn't want to type. I finally figured out how to get rid of it by typing in "word backwards p' into google. Oh the wonders of the internet. Well, enough of my boring life and back onto the story.**

**Sirius: Finally, I though you died. **

**Me: I didn't die.**

**Sirius: Okay.**

**Me: Enough chit chat I have a heap of writing to do.**

**Chapter 9**

Harry wandered over to the couch and collapsed into a fit of laughter. Sirius, frightened by the loud noise rushed into the lounge room to see what was wrong. When he caught a glimpse of Harry on the couch he stared at him strangely. Several minutes later Harry sat up out of breath. Sirius just continued to stare at him like he was a lunatic.

"What the heck is so funny that you laughed non stop for seven whole minutes?" Sirius asked.

"Dumbledore." Harry replied.

They both got the point. Harry didn't need to explain because the old coot was so darn predictable.

"Took you off the quidditch team?"

"Yep."

"Expected you to beg on your knees for the position?"

"Most likely."

"Tried to convince you that the raging psychopath who tried to kill you was innocent even though there were lots of witnesses?"

"Of course for the 500th time. Well, feels like it anyway."

"That man is an idiot."

"Nope."

"What do you mean no?!" Sirius exclaimed.

"He is so old and shrivelled he can hardly be considered a man. A thousand year old prune looks younger than he does."

"Good point that."

"You know I think it is payback time." Harry said mischievously.

"I like what you are thinking. So what's the plan?"

Harry and Sirius whispered to each other the entire afternoon making notes and laughing the whole time. Dumbledore had better hide. He is in for it big time.

In Dumbledore's Office

Dumbledore was just sitting in his chair thinking about how to get Harry Potter to do as he said when a peacock flamed into his office and sat itself on Fork's (**A/N: Hope that's the right spelling. If not let me know in the comments.) **Perch.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaagh!" Dumbledore screamed. "What are you and what are you doing in my office. The peacock trilled and squawked.

"Oooooooooooh. You're Forks and I'm pink. Okay…wait a second! I'm what!?"

Dumbledore ran towards the mirror. Unfortunately he forgot to slow down and slammed into it. He picked himself and the mirror up and stared at himself. To say he was shocked would be and understatement.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!" Dumbledore squealed with a squeal that could be heard in Antarctica and stared Earthquakes in Australia. Dumbledore then took a second look in the mirror and noticed that he had turned yellow. He screamed again.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!" this time his screams could be heard all around the world and started earthquakes on the moon.

Dumbledore was not a happy chappy and unfortunately for the rest of the world the idiot decided to look in the mirror a 3rd time. This time however he was not shocked, he was not scared, he was terrified. He screamed louder than ever before and everyone within a 5 kilometre radius went temporarily deaf and….you don't want to here about Uranus do you? Well, alright. Uranus exploded in a fireball before shattering into a million tiny pieces and knocking into every planet except the always lucky Earth. The planets were knocked of course and into the sun where they burned making the sun even hotter thus starting global warming. If only Dumbledore knew that this was just the beginning of a very, very, very, very, very, very ,very long prank war. Harry and Sirius heard Dumbledore scream through their no noise earmuffs and though in unison 'let the fun begin.'

**A/N: Thank you for reading chapter 9. It was very short I know but I am just getting back into the swing of it. **

**Sirius: Thank you for reading.**

**Me: Please use my 3 step process that I like to call RRPMOAA. Also known as Read, Review and Put me on author alert. **

**Sirius: Thanks for reading.**

**Me: That's enough Sirius.**


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